Do you want to understand the science behind these three specific words Blame, Justification & Complain? And why is it most important for us to refrain from these words if want to achieve our life targets? These are not only words but complete psychology in itself.
When people adopt the habit of blaming, they see most of the things, be they small or big with this angle. How students use this, when they didn’t get good marks, they blame their teacher for not teaching them well, their parents for providing tuition classes, etc. They many a time forget that some other student performs superbly in the same exam and secure good marks. They do not want to focus on the good part but focus on blaming others for their poor performance.
Their subconscious mind is giving them good supplies of excuses at each and every stage. When they could not play well in sport, they have similar logics of the blame here as well, like the coach was not good, the ground was not proper, I was not feeling well on that day, etc.
This logic is applicable to many of us, we most of the time forget that we are trapped in the blame game. We easily identify the person even our close family members, situation, condition, objects to blame for our lack of success, to vent out frustration. It’s always someone else or something else that is to blame. The problem is anything or anyone but them.
For their poor financial condition, they blame the economy, workforce, government, competitors, their own business unit, banks, etc. but never themselves.
“We live in a culture of blame. People will blame anyone or anything for their misery sooner than take the responsibility to own it and make it better.” Dr. Henry Cloud; Dr. John Townsend
If blame is not the excuse, then people generally justify their situation like, if they are not making good money, then they will simply say ‘Money is not a priority in my life’ or ‘Money is not important to me’.
If money is not on your priority list, how that can be close to you. It’s like if you are not giving priority to your relationship with your family members, then will they stay with you for a longer time. You will soon found yourself in isolation. The person who says that money is not important or not on their priority list, these peoples are generally broke. Even highly rich people keep money on their priority list. For them, it’s not either money or family but ‘both’.
If these types of people get an important assignment in their workplace & could not complete them, then they justify saying like ‘There was a network issue, internet issue, there was no electricity for 4 hours on that day’. They justify each and every small thing for not completing that assignment.
Their mind works on ‘how to justify’ in any situation rather than finding out a solution. They could have worked from another location which might be their relative or friend’s home to complete that assignment. But their mind was not working toward seeking solution. They were all the time seeking excuses for justification.
You can see such people in a struggling situation most of the time and professionally these people will not be successful.
“Winners see the dream and develop plans while the rest see the obstacles and develop justifications.”- Orrin Woodward
This is one of the favorite words to many people, even they might not be aware that it’s so. This is more powerful than the previous two. Complainer can find the fault everywhere. For them complaining is like a hobby. They feel satisfied doing complain.
It goes as ‘like attract like’ and by knowing subconscious mind working principle, I don’t think you are having any doubt in this. Complainers attract complains in each and every situation. They are the complain magnet, their life is full of complains.
If they are in discussion and it is hot inside the meeting room, they complain about the weather. If they are on a nearby road, which is having potholes, they complain about the municipal authority. If they are traveling and found traffic on the way, they complain about the complete traffic system.
They are experts in complaining about the social systems, government bodies, police, management, workplace, city culture, rural culture, etc.
“We can throw stones, complain about them, stumble on them, climb over them, or build with them.” – William Arthur Ward
What are your feelings about these words now? Why these words become part of our everyday life? Actually, we as a person fail in many situations, and then we need these words to express our emotions. In those situations, we are full of negative energy & we also know that negative energy is infectious.
So, to avoid these situations, we need positive energy. For that, the first and foremost point is to make a good distance from people who are habitual about blaming, justification, and complaining. Because there is a good chance that one day you will also be on their radar for blaming. They will not even spare you.
We need to take control of our life. Whatever is happening in our life, we are the only responsible person for that. If it’s a financial crisis, then also we are responsible. If we are broke till now, that is due to our own actions. Nothing changed in our life unless we break our routines and do things differently.
You know, how rich people deal with all these words, they never blame, justify and complain for their failure. Instead of doing so, they work out alternatives and find out solutions. With this habit only they differentiate themselves from the masses. They learn from those failures and make them stepping stones for success. They take corrective action on what went wrong and improve the overall process.
They are firm believers that ‘they create their life’ and take full control of the things happening in their life.
“One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.” ―Abraham Maslow